This would explain my boyfriend’s sudden propensity to embarrass me in public with the funky flatulence dance. He is (was) a regular Esteem Cleaners customer (the Memphis branch).

(Hilarious post! This is the Brent we know and love.)

I don’t get it…..

Smocking does this and it’s a crime….

Dr “T” does it and its called therapy….

(Bt the way, if you see the good doc, tell him I need my power washer and jumper cables back)

John O.

Is it to late to hire Smocking to “clean” the sidewalks of Washington?

John,

All together now, “I’m a little teapot short and stout…”

Anon

….I’m sorry, it’s just not the same song without the electric cattle prod.

John O.

I’m wondering if Mr. Smocking’s brainwashing system could produce similar results across cultures and personality types or does it hinge primarily on the target’s susceptibility to produce high levels of flatulence (like my boyfriend)? (damn, he would kill me if he read this)

Oh crap, I forgot to type my name in. That last comment was from DEBBIE not from our mysterious Anon!

Thank you,
I was beginning to feel surrounded by disembodied voices, which is always disturbing.

Feel free to sign in anonymous friend(s).

I will not sign in and you can’t make me. 8p

Neither will I.

Brent,
You are surrounded by disembodies voices……… I’m over here. Just kidding, I’m over here.

John,
Don’t forget that when you get to the part, “tip me over and pour me out” that you lean over to the side. Just don’t lean over too far or you may fall.

John,
Excellent point about Dr.T. The difference is that he is white collar and Smocking is not. Dr. T has a degree and high powered friends. It’s all about who you know. I heard he had Fording in his back pocket. An incredible accomplishment since Fording doesn’t even have Fording in his back pocket.

Chris,
I think I saw you yesterday at the mall. Those earrings looked great on you!

Hey Brent,
Your comments from Wednesday’s post are around 50 now. Do you think your wife would give you another prize if it goes over 100 again?

For the love of boysenberries, sign in anon, my head hurts. Will the real anon please stand up!

My name is…, My name is…, My name is…

My name is Enigo Mentoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

My name’s Forrest Gump.

Bond, James Bond.

NO! I have boysenberries!

AND I HATE THEM!!!

I’m officially freaking out!

Fear of the unknown is a powerful aweful thing. You should visit Dr. T. I think you need an emergency session.

Go away Anon!

Wait a minute…is Anonymous Dr. T?

Dr. T would not stoop to such levels…
yes, he would, but then he would miss out on publicity and credit for his wisecracks.
No, I don’t believe it is Dr. T.

True, the good Dr. is much too ostentatious (yes I use that word in normal conversation) to be nameless.

That’s ok. I use the word meticulous in normal conversation.

I don’t know that meticulous would apply to Dr. T though.

Anon,

Maybe we should re-direct this stimulating conversation over at “Author Aflutter At Imminent Review.” Brent (the author of this blog) in case you haven’t noticed, may receive another prize if the little commas reach 150.

I’ll buy you a drink…

No drinkie?

I’ll let you bum a smoke…

No smokie?

Ok, just move it buddy we don’t have much time.

Anonymity is overrated.

I agree Jen. By the way, Maisie is really cute.

Overrated? Well yeah, but for my personal entertainment at the expense of Debbie’s psyche, its priceless!

Jenn,
Thanks for the compliment, but I think the earrings clashed with my shoes.

Happy to oblige Anon! Just remember payback is hell.

You made me cuss Anon…shame on you!

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

I’m really not vengeful…too much energy. If my psyche is going to be abused it might as well be entertaining.

Anon,
I think ridiculous is a more appropriate description for the doctor.

Jenn and Debbie,
Maisie is cute.

Anon and Debbie,
Please don’t bring divine retributional server crashes back upon the community with foul language. I don’t if we could handle the shock in our current emotional condition.

We need the good doctor here in he Big D. Very funny post. My words are lame but my laugh is loud!

But she said it, not me…..

Anon,
Don’t encourage her. That’s Dr. T’s job.

Brent,
I think your influence is spreading. He didn’t come right out and say it, but the askaninja.com, ninja, is talking about you in an indirect way.

Debbie,
Please don’t take that from Brent. He just doesn’t understand you the way that I do.

… here is my handle, here is my spout.

MT,
Your contribution is greatly appreciated. Thank you for singing along. Please encourage your friends. It is a truly timeless song. Classic. Your pitch was a little off, but I think after a few more times you will have it.

Debbie,
I understand that your last session with Dr. T. did not go well. Please know that I am praying for you. Be encouraged. It takes a big person to endure anyone like him. I would like to suggest that you find someone else. Breathe. It’s ok. I’m not asking you to quit cold turkey. Just think about it. When you’re ready to explore other options, please let me know and I will give you some recommendations. I just think that you are too good for that man.

Thank goodness I have Lynn! My OC sister always pulls through for me.

Brent,

It was just a little cuss from a little comma. Just do not ever promote me to a large comma.

Anon,

It is your fault because I’m cuter than you. Cuteness wins over anonymity. Just ask Maisie.

Camille,

Thank you for your encourgement and prayers. I do grow tiresome of the Doctor’s constant ridicule of my jello-phobia. He has a plate of it on his desk for each and every session.

Lynn broke free from the Doctor’s clutches, so why can’t I?

I am imagining a translucent jail cell, like the one at the end of X-men, except made of jell-o.

“Welcome to your new home, the wiggly room, ha ha ha ha (continued maniacal laughter)”

Although I imagine it, I definitely don’t enjoy it. That’s doctor T’s job.

Brent Diggs! How could you? The thought of a wiggly jell-o jail is just terrifying. I can hardly breathe…(wheeeeeezzzzzzzz)

Although, if Wolverine, aka…James Howlett, more commonly known as Logan…came to my rescue it would be worth the torment.

(My son is named after Wolverine…the common name of Logan not Wolverine, although I did think about it…ok, not really)

That’s okay, I tried to name my son Conan, but Camille intervened and the best I could do was Keenan.

True story.

Hilarious! I applaud the effort (standing ovation in fact). Funny you should mention Conan…

My family always comes to my house for X-mas (my house is the largest) and we always watch Conan the Barbarian (Conan the Destroyer) or Highlander. It’s kind of a tradition.

Good family traditions are precious. When ever my in laws would come over for thanksgiving, we would always watch Funny Farm or What About Bob.

Bill Murray puts the give in thanksgiving.

Bill Murray and Chevy Chase have that uncanny ability to make us laugh without saying a word. Their facial idiosyncrasies defy explanation. They have that kind of comfortable strangeness. Oh how this takes me back a bit…good times…

Gotta run…looking forward to tomorrow’s post…

Brent,
That was a horrible thing to suggest for Debbie. You know she hates jell-o. That was a comment worthy of Dr.T. It would probably backfire on you though. It would end up like death therapy did for Dr. Marvin.

Sorry Debbie,
I will tell Camille on him.

Thank you sista Lynn!

Maisie is adorable, thank you Debbie and Brent. I look forward to her singing “I’m a little teapot” and acting it out.

I am quite intrigued to hear the askaninja.com ninja talk about the ominous comma! links anyone??

I have recented heard about Brent’s despicable behavior, and trust me he has been punished.

Lynn,
Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

I thought that “Keenan” was just an early attempt to spell “Conan”

Okay, I have been going to your new little webmap thingy for days now wondering when you were going to post. I just found the this way to blog button—I need help.

Just click on “view the posts” on the right side of the main screen, and it will take you directly to the most recent posts.

Sorry for the confusion, is was actually supposed to work the other way: to make things easier to find.

Perhaps I should consider a career in reverse engineering.