Carping Diem: It Begins
By Brent Diggs on Feb 5, 2007 in Harold Toboggans, Humor, Introductions
Doctor Harold Toboggans is a man of rare and stunning genius.
Gifted beyond the limited scope of normal human intelligence, he has stolen fire, as it were, from Olympus to light, and possibly leave large burning scars on, the dark, shivering souls of humanity.
At least that what it says on the sleeve of his latest book, Duct Tape for the Fractured Soul: Rebuilding People Previously Thought Beyond Hope, which is available in fine truck stops and reform school libraries everywhere.
Dr. Toboggans has long been the staff psychologist, resident motivational speaker, and official personal development coach of the Ominous Comma. Now, having nearly survived, and possibly benefited, from his compassion and insight, I find myself compelled*, to inflict his staggering wealth of expertise on the undeserving world.
Funny Psychology - Snarking Humor
The Godfather of Arrogantly Funny Psychology
For the greater good of humanity, Doctor Toboggans has graciously granted us permission to publish outtakes and excerpts from his various sessions, capturing the master at work encouraging, mentoring, and assaulting people into exploring their fullest potential, no matter how small it might be.
Doctor Harold Toboggans brings an amazing breadth of education to this site, having not so much graduated as escaped from attending many impressively existing institutions of higher learning, such as the VanDyne School of Fine Dining and Dentistry, the Greater Siberian Institute of Quasi-Intral Gastrology, and the Slugins Center for the Mentally Not-So-Together, although it’s not entirely clear whether he served as an intern or a patient at that fine facility.
Nonetheless, he is here and we simply have to make the best of it. So please grant your closest attention to the doctor and perhaps afterwards he will forge us prescriptions for something narcotic.
Click here for the first dose of Carping Diem.
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*In my defense, it should be noted that my compulsion came by way of impressively large sums of money owed Dr. Toboggans for services rendered to my psyche. Who knew bad therapy was so expensive
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Although I don’t understand it myself, some people consider Doctor Toboggans a valuable source for funny psychology and maliciously intelligent humor. If you are one of these unfortunate Tobogganophiles you can satisfy your unsightly addiction with an uninterrupted infusion of Ominous Comma. Subscribe today.
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Dear Dr. Toebogger,
I appreciate all of the help that you can give to Mr. Ominouscomma. His genius gets stepped on and over frequently and it is nice that there is someone near his level that he can communicate copiously with. Oh, and I love the stache.
Lynn
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Thought I would take a minute out of my busy writing schedule this morning just to remind you that I hate you. (You know why.) I suggest your next session with Dr. Toboggans covers your overwhelming need to be funnier than most everyone else who has a blog.
Perhaps your Mom didn’t love you enough as a baby blogger. Or, could be something to do with a cigar. Either way, figure it out and get some therapy.
Yet another satisfied customer. I love this job.
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Oh, and now I see you’re doing a lot of talking to yourself. That’s not a good sign, despite everyone’s need to hear someone with some sense every now and then. Perhaps you should talk to the (semi-)good Dr. T about that.
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