The Ominous Comma

In a surprise announcement internet powerhouse Google today revealed that it had acquired the western European country of Luxembourg.

According to European sources, Luxembourgians are enthusiastic about the buyout hoping that Google will bring its highly touted financial and connectivity resources to the aid of the landlocked nation. Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker was quoted as saying, […]

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Chicago- Small business owner, Harold Smocking, was arrested today on charges of criminal brainwashing. His company, Esteem Cleaners, which provides an innovative combination of personal development and pressure washing, has up until now boasted an impressive track record of profitability and really clean sidewalks.
Witnesses say that Smocking […]

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News Lite: 98% Less Factual Information Than Regular News.

Niagara Falls- The final contingent of private security contractors reported for duty today in Niagara Falls, joining nearly 50,000 troops already deployed along the Canadian-American border. Funded by an alliance of major drug manufacturers, the troops have formed a blockade, effectively sealing off Canada […]

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News Lite: 98% Less Factual Information Than Regular News
Little Rock- This morning Randal Rufus reported to court ordered driving school. Unlike more traditional driving courses, this one focused on parking lots and directional arrows. “I never thought it made no matter which ever […]

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News Lite: 98% Less Factual Information Than Regular News

Memphis- Representatives from six major automakers met with the Memphis Area Recycling Service today to conclude negotiations on turn a signal recycling agreement. With sales in a […]

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