Carping Diem: Duplicate
By Brent Diggs on Nov 21, 2007 in Harold Toboggans, Humor
Like a lingering illness, Doctor Harold Toboggans, is working his way through your system.
Far too late to induce vomiting, a laxative and OSHA approved hearing protection are highly recommended
“If you were this good, you could be me too.“
Dr. Toboggans is the staff psychologist, resident motivational speaker, and official personal development coach of the Ominous Comma. Like a herd of rabid flatulent badgers it is best to avoid eye contact with the doctor unless you have thick leather gloves and hopefully a better metaphor. Even then you should exercise extreme caution, preferably in a distant health club.
Learn more about the amazing Dr. Toboggans here. Another service of the Ominous Comma, the first, middle*, and last name in negligent humor.
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*Use of the middle name does not necessarily constitute parental disciplinary measures, but it is strongly implied.
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For a limited engagement, the Doctor is accepting cases at Humor-blogs.com.
Don’t hold your breath for a cure.
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Dr. T is positively smouldering today.
It is almost enough to make a man contemplate homosexuality.
ALMOST.
Things get a little frisky when Lord Likely gets the first comment…
I’m not sure Dr. T even contemplates such trivial things as “looking hot”…of course that is precisely what makes him hot!
I may mention his strong, sexy, chin during my next session just to see if he will raise an eyebrow or spit out his coffee…y’know…before he kicks me out…
Yes, the Doctor is oblivious to his own charm. Which isn’t really that surprising considering how hard you have to look to find it.
Actually, a map is pretty much indispensable if you wish to locate it.
Your dedication to deep thought and overall contemplation is what I most admire about you, Your Lordship.
That and your simply smashing top hat.
I have arrived in the Yukon and sent the Sri Lankan family and their blasted drafty reed canoe back to the tropics. Your obnoxious assistant was bailed out of jail with an application of cash to the hand of the sheriff, but I had to bludgeon said assistant into a coma to get him to STOP STARING AT MY FEMININE FORM. So now FIX ME, the gin-soaked derailed choo-choo of dependence.
Oh, and you do look hot today Dr. T. Very nice photograph.
Congratulations on your deft handling of my associate.
The confidence and assertiveness that you demonstrated in your ocean passage as well as the sheer unabated violence meted out upon would-be ogler, have propelled you one step closer to a cure.
Okay, maybe half a step.
I have obtained a Crack Whore Barbie from (if that doesn’t work I got it from Diesel on Mattress Police). I believe I have already obtained more help from Crack Whore Barbie than I have from you. You Quack! *sniff cry cry sniff*
apparently it worked a little too well
Be careful Karen. Your expectations of Dr. T are feeding his already overinflated ego. He might explode.
So, you have experience with herds of rabid flatulent badgers? Maybe you could give us some advice on what to do about our mole problem (the garden kind, not the skin kind).
Anti-depressants.
Imagine spending your whole life in the dark, despised by the neighbors upstairs. It’s a wonder they don’t all stick their little heads in your exhaust pipe.
Happy Thanksgiving Dr. T. I am thankful that I don’t have to see you today!
And you won’t be seeing me again until you settle the matter of your very sizable therapy bill.
This isn’t a charity, you know. This is psychiatry.