The next in our series of poor excuses for blogging is What’s Up With Me Wednesday.
The key to this spicy new meme is to find a fairly boring story, and pack it chock full of nicknames and acronyms without any sort of key or context in which to decipher them, or any reason why it would interest anyone outside your immediate family.
Stories about kids or pets work well for this purpose, children of pets are excellent. Adult Children of Exotic Forms of Marine Life is a support group that meets downstairs, but always has really good coffee.
For example:
Today was a crazy day!!! Big-G dropped off Lil-X, literally!! He dropped him right into the inflatable wading pool we keep in the living room for impromptu matches of oatmeal wrestling. It was filled with grits today because we were out of oatmeal thanks to SnuggleBum’s school project, Stonehenge in Ground Grains. Anyway, I was watching the Oprah special on Broadcast Lobotomies, can you believe that some shows actually make you stupider? I called FooBoo and Sassy to see what they thought, but they had stopped thinking for the day. Then I found this website with some really funny cats. I never realized that cats had such bad spelling. Talk about LUUSMNC.1 They were too much. Then I heard deep gurgling noises from the wresting pool where Midsized-J had eaten every last bit of the grits, even without butter, and found him filling his little diapers with it as fast as his stinky little pooper could poo. Anyway the ambulance arrived even before I called, making its usually six o’clock run to our house. Then–
Sorry, I couldn’t take anymore.
The real secret to a truly successful What’s Up With Me Wednesday is not interesting content, or the coherence of the telling but rather the sheer number of uninterrupted words on the screen. Don’t let white space slow your flow, people need to know you mean business by the way your words cover the screen like ants on a the remains of a detonated watermelon.
Show no mercy.
And no biographical post would be complete without lots of family pictures. The blurrier the better.
This is me in a crowd of people you don’t know.
This is me in a crowd of people I don’t know.
This is me being burned in effigy by a crowd of angry oatmeal wrestlers.
To spread the boisterous joy that knowledge of me inspires throughout the webosphere, I am hereby tagging the following non-me aware individuals:
- Narcissus-X, a blog completely and thoroughly about itself.
- MattressPolice, a blog that that has so far failed to be about me but I haven’t given up on.
- DangerCouch, a blog that although is about me, is suffering from poor ratings.
Thank you for your continued participation in Blogging Week. Tomorrow: Thursday Thirty-Seven.
This post is milling about with the herd of the tragically not-about-me blogs over at humor-blogs.com.
- Laughed Until Urine Stained My New Clothes «
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
“This is me in a crowd of people you don’t know.”
Not true! I know the blurry guy in the white shirt on the left. He’s the local Chief of wild skunk vaccinations. He’s kind of a grump.
What smells worse? Skunk spray or 3 day old meat?
Proud LUUSMNC member! Actually I can’t remember ever peeing in my pants but I laugh pretty damn hard so I’m sure I have at some point…OH wait…now I remember: One time at band camp…
I feel like this post is about me. I feel so honored.
I have just caught up with your Blogging week thus far, and now I fear I may have ruptured something.
And it is not my spleen this time.
Excellent work, Mr. Brent!
I was just dropping by to see what’s up. Burned in effigy by a crowd of angry oatmeal wrestlers? Don’t you just hate it when a day starts out that way?
I plead the fifth.
Is that why you recently overhauled your entire wardrobe in shades of yellow?
I have my sources you know.
Many thanks Your Lordship. I have called the emergency room for you, they have your usual room ready.
It gets worse if they actually catch you. That is how I got to be an authority on condiment enemas and such.
I didn’t see any oatmeal wrestling paraphernalia upon your fine blog? Do you have 911 on speed-dial?
Actually, with a teenager you might want to.
What I did see was a nice taglist/index of key characters and events in your drama. Thanks to that foresight, anyone can drop in and feel like part of the story without having to read the entire blog (which kind of was my point.)
Good luck with the resident teen, I have a couple myself. Gas. Oh, yes.
Idiocy and
brilliance. Two sides of the coin.
And yours landed on…?
“Adult Children of Exotic Forms of Marine Life is a support group that meets downstairs, but always has really good coffee.”
- Thank you so much for advertising our group!
Please contact our group immediately if you are suffering from this disorder. We meet on Wednesday nights and serve refreshing cups of Folgers coffee.
Next week our President and Founder, BrentD from the Ominous Comma will be giving a wonderful presentation that we are very excited about, so please join us!
Greaaaaaat. I was so going to post about my cat and kid. Now you leave me no choice by to blog about my pap smear.
I didnt realise there were so many oatmeal wrestlers out there.
I wrestled oatmeal in high school, moved on to grits in college, and now I am looking forward to grapenuts.
A question for philosophers to ponder over the ages. Personally, I feel that I am in a Schrodinger-worthy state of indeterminacy.
How’s that gill fungus? I know it was troubling you last week.
Oh, they have a vibrant community. And they all hate me.
Did you ever lose to oatmeal? We have to know.
There is definitely more humor potential in the smear.
Prostate exams, however are strictly a non-laughing matter.
Thanks for the inspiration ominous, ‘F*!k off it’s Friday’, will now become a regular feature.
P.s. I was going to use a most F-tabulous word but then I wondered whether some of your other readers might find it offensive so I disguised it, hope that’s o.k.
p.s. Brent I was thinking of getting a few people together for a collective blog, would you be interested in contributing?
This post was in the Blogrush widget on my site and I got here by clicking through. FYI for yah :)
Damn you are good.
Yay for “Who Gives A Damn Wednesday”! Oh, that was the meme on that other blog? My bad. Perhaps I can tell you about my experiences with my flatulent dog yesterday to make up for it.
Thanks Spook, I do try to keep this blog PG if not PC.
That is also why some comments vanish into the ether, never to be heard from again.
Sure thing, I’ve been wanting to get out more.
Thanks for thinking of me.
Thanks, I was wondering if it was ever going to bring me any traffic. I’m toying with tossing it altogether.
I’ve noticed that dogs get the blame for lots of things that they don’t technically do.
Hmmmmmmmmmm.
An impressive list there young man..that is one thing I avoid..making lists..I find other people do it for me… for instance..my two ex’s have a rather lenghty list of my faults which they have stored on a Cray Computer in the basement of Nasa…
LUUSMNC!
The salve you slathered on last week did wonders! What was it made of? I think you said whale poo, but I’m not sure.
:)
I thought you were one, I’ll check with your wife.
First thing that came to mind when I saw that picture was…
Yeee Haw!!! Worlds Biggest Piñata! Quick, somebody get me a Louisville Slugger!
Which, of course, would lead to those famous last words…
Hold my beer. Watch this!
Is it a joint list or did they work separately and compare results?
I hope you brought fresh garments.
You might need a cannon to breach that pinata. But that would put you firmly in the redneck camp.
(Bring Lysol, I don’t know how often they shower over there.)