A Furious Feed Of Fantastical Facts
By Brent Diggs on Nov 16, 2007 in Humor
People often point out the many similarities between the Ominous Comma and other popular blogs such as BoingBoing, ProBlogger, and TechCrunch, namely the use of words, images, and occasional punctuation.
Although it’s true that all of us A-list bloggers* provide our readers with prodigious volumes of useful information, the key factor that differentiates me from the rest, in addition to a certain lack of fame, fortune, and five-figure visitor counts, is one of source.
Instead of relying on hackneyed data gathering techniques like research and personal experience, I tend to retrieve my information directly from my rectal regions.
So as you might imagine, I was a bit puzzled when readers began coming to me for instruction regarding the intricacies of RSS. Especially considering the questionable accuracy of information previous disbursed from this site, which includes:
- The assertion that humor travels from person to person via sub-atomic particles.
- The claim that Google search was possibly dropped on its head as an infant algorithm.
- The proclaimation of previously unknown hormones: stupigen, spazigen, and preposterone discovered in the unexplored regions of the male brain.
However, in a lingering spirit of reader improvement, I have decided do my very best to expound upon the manifold glory and splendor of RSS.
The expounding begins here
Like many of the new breed of acronyms, there is no universal consensus on what exactly the letters RSS represent, but the majority of punditly-endowed individuals agree that it should stand for Really Simple Syndication.
The presence of RSS is usually signified by a little orange box resembling the international symbol for Hearing Aid in Use. Clicking upon this radiating waveform of tangerine goodness allows you to subscribe to that particular blog and have a feed of its continued postings sent directly to you, to be privately enjoyed in a feed reader of your choice.
If you so desire, you can hone your subscribing skills with this lovely icon sitting here, doing its best to represent all of the bursting exuberance and surreal loveliness that is the Ominous Comma.
If you feel that your subscribing chops require further refinement, you may also descend with stealth upon the computers of friends and coworkers and subscribe them as well.
The magic of RSS is what allows community site like, BlogCatalog and MyBlogLog, and even humor-blogs.com to display a list of your latest posts.
Scum and Villainy
Unfortunately, RSS has also enabled the existence of a whole sub-class of humanity known simply as spam bloggers who, like slimy remora clinging to a fearsome shark, attach themselves to your feed and repost it under their own name to gain advertising revenue.
That however, is a rant for another day.
The important lessons to take home from this highly instructive demonstration are:
- RSS is your friend.
- The Ominous Comma refers to itself in the third person with alarming frequency.
- Feed pirates deserve to be flogged, depilatorized, and made to eat pickled chitins while hanging by their toes over a tank of hungry carnivorous squirrels.
Class dismissed.
—–
*Technically, I am more of Ehhhhhhh-list blogger, a Henry Winkler in a field of Ron Howards.
—–
This post is busy being seen with the other luminaries at humor-blogs.com
Related Articles:
RSS
I think this is the best explanation of RSS feeds I’ve ever seen. One small nit-pick, though. Fantastical not Fantasitcal.
D’oh!
Thank you sir, consider that typo rectified.
Quite humorous indeed. Great post!
and all this time I thought it had something to do with the IRS and subscribing was a new way of filing my tax return
And indeed it is, merely subscribe to the Ominous Comma and your tax worries will be completely forgotten until mid April.
[…] The Ominous Comma explains RSS. […]
What is a “pingback”? It’s up above this comment…
And how did it occur?
A pingback is kind of a reverse link.
It seems that Chip made reference to my post on his blog and gave a link to me, but by also entering my permalink (My post’s location in the webosphere) into his blogging software he got that handy reverse link back to his site.
A pingback shows me that someone is talking about me, and is an invitation to everyone on this site to see what he has to say.
I’m not sure of the exact method on blogger or typepad, but wordpress has a nice little block to enter your pingback info into.
radiating waveform of tangerine goodness…
NICE post Brent.
RSS - Retro Sally Struthers? No, that’s probably not it.
Thank you.
Actually, I think Sally’s icon is yellow with curly waves, looking a lot like a flock of flying corkscrews against a square lemon custard pie.
Thanks Creechman
Look at you explaining RSS feeds, and pingpong I mean pingbacks you are just a blog pro now. I can’t believe you still respond to comments from us lowly people.
I actually have subcontracted the whole responding part to a minimum wage apprentice, so that I have more time to admire my stats and polish my blogging badges.
You have to have priorities you know.
Don’t let him lie to you. He doesn’t pay me minimum wage and the only thing I’ve learned is how to nail jello to the wall. Apprenticeship is not what it is cracked up to be.
Quiet Drudge!!
Keep your silence or I’ll lock you back in the box!!
And don’t expect any more jello until you finish all my comments.
‘Instead of relying on hackneyed data gathering techniques like research and personal experience, I tend to retrieve my information directly from my rectal regions.’
Thats where I pull mine from aswell… well not ‘yours’ but mine in terms of the respective regions of the rectal orifice… of course you’d probably know if there was someone retrieving information from your buttocks other than yourself wouldn’t you, though there was that one time when i was asleep, to cut a long story short stay away from Leonard Nimoy.
Yes, I suppose I would notice if someone was attempting to extract material from my sacred portal of chicanery.
But it would make for a great episode of “In search of…”
I find that the nasal regions also tend to yield good data harvests.
This was most certainly food for thought.
Or should that be FEED for thought! Ah-hahahaha!
No. You’re probably right.
Your Lordship, you are too much.
(I think a tummy tuck would be in order.)