Blogging Week - Marauding Monday
By Brent Diggs on Oct 22, 2007 in Humor, Satire
Welcome to Blogging Week, my first ever attempt at “typical,” and by that I mean meme-infested, blogging.
For those of you who may be mercifully ignorant of what passes for content on this site, my usual response to memes is similar to my response to venomous insects occasionally found crawling across my floor: bludgeon them with whatever is handy, wipe up the residue with the closest paper product and burn the whole mess as a lesson to any others who may be planning a similar attack.
However in the newfound liberation of Blogging Week, I am gleefully cultivating some truly wretched memes of my own.
For example, today is Marauding Monday.
In a time-honored tradition dating back to the early hours of this morning, Marauding Monday is characterized by a joyfully vindictiveness in which a bold blogger, not unlike myself, is encouraged to stalk and prey upon a completely unprepared bystander in the name of community entertainment.
Today’s victim is none other than Wanton Government Regulation.
It is no secret that governing bodies are like black holes, which if left to their own devices will suck all untended powers into themselves, forming a tightly bundled mass of irresistible authority.
What is less well known, is that this is precisely what is happening in Nepal.
In a fit of blatant persecution, the Nepalese government* has announced that it is actively attempting to curtail the inalienable climbing rights of the Unclothed Everest Ascenders Community.
It seems that certain narrow-mined Nepalese officials take a dim view of naked climbers.**
Personally, I am shocked and appalled at this remorseless abuse of governmental power. This is exactly the kind of oppressive interference that keeps Nepal in 83rd place as a world economy.
It is every climbers God-given right*** to summit the mountain in the same state he or she entered the world: butt naked, quivering, and out of breath.
No government for the people, by the people, or even somewhere around the people has the authority to deprive these poor hikers of their right to free epidermal expression.
Besides, the Nepalese government should realize that this is a self-correcting problem. As the offending parties proceed to frostbite themselves out of the gene pool, the entire human population will grow statistically smarter as a result of their actions.
And remember this, if you set a dress code for Everest, then it’s only a matter of time until you’re fitting a splash guard on Niagara Falls or installing handrails on the Marianas Trench.
Regulation escalation is an ugly, ugly thing.
There you have it, the first ever Marauding Monday
Now, to properly propagate this drain on the collective internet IQ, I am tagging:
The official Sledge Hammer MySpace site because that show:
- Freaking rocks
- Inspires me to maraud.
Dave Barry who deserves precisely this sort of spam.
And Grundir the Implacable who secretly longs for some juicy new memes.
Come back tomorrow for the next installment of Blogging Week: Tactless Tuesday
———
*If you can say “Nepalese” eight times in rapid succession, then you can do a fairly convincing rendition of Heart’s classic rock hit Barracuda.
**Between the blizzards, long nights, and oxygen deprivation, a dim view is about all you get of anyone on the mountain.****
***Atheist climber of course have a slowly evolving right, that may be ready for use in a few million years.
****No, I’ve never been to Mt Everest, but there was a very educational IMAX film on the subject not long ago.*****
*****No, I didn’t actually see the movie either, but there were some lovely commercials about it.******
******Just forget about it. I’m sorry I even brought it up.
—–
This post can be found nakedly scaling the heights at humor-blog.com
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This was totally worth waiting for! (but it was no fun having to wait)
I think your recent stint of unemployment released some brain cells for creativity and humor. Or maybe it was those brownies you keep mentioning. You rock!
Brownies rock. I just channel what they say.
Congratulations! This “drain on the collective internet IQ” has reached an all time low. You know things have gone downhill when you are adding foot notes to foot notes.*
*By the way the article was still quite good.
I just wanted to make sure those in the single digits (meme-victims) could follow along.
I’m kind of diggin’ Mr. Marauding Monday’s road warrior mad max style.
I’m thinking the leading Republican Presidential candidates may need to consult this sledge hammer my space site. If your going to fake it, make it funny right?
I like the way Mr. Marauder appears to be wiping chicken grease on his belly, like he was going to swim the channel, or squeeze through a sewer pipe.
He’s one tough customer. Better make sure your sale items are all correctly marked.
Ewwwwwwww, you are correct, that kind of tears down his coolness factor.
The sunglasses totally make the marauder outfit work! It wouldn’t have been the same without them. Unless Mr. Marauder had some blue paint to dab about his corpus. Everywhere but on his upper eyelids, of course.
Instead of screaming “freedom” I could see him hollering “cholesterol!”
“It is every climbers God-given right*** to summit the mountain in the same state he or she entered the world: butt naked, quivering, and out of breath.”
Ah, that reminds me of the time I decided to go sledding down the side of a mountain after dropping a few hits of… erm… nevermind. Forget I said that.
Speak into the microphone, please.
Is that a microphone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
:: walks away whistling nonchalantly ::
Okay, so I was reading right along when I got to the little end note about Heart and Barracuda and for some reason, this struck me as so funny that I burst into song and now I CANNOT GET THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. I blame you.
Personally, I think atheists have missed the whole point of intelligent design. Everyone knows that it’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster (http://www.venganza.org/). And those that don’t know are going straight to HELL, do you hear me? Clearly, I’ve been touched by his Noodly Appendage.
I get a mechanical royalty from the band for every time the song plays in people’s brains.
As for the FSM, I may well have to suffer in non-pasta purgatory, for I am an infidel non-believing skeptic.
Until someone can scientifically prove to me that he exists, I will remain staunchly an amonsterist.
That was one of the funniest things that I have ever read. I can’t believe that someone is not throwing money at you to write! The only thing that I can think of right now that was funnier was the story about the 10 ways to avoid a mugging. You definantely rock harder than Sledge Hammer!
Sledge Hammer? High praise indeed. Thank you for your encouragement.
Also, warn me before you start throwing money, especially coins.
I have heard that eating and marauding are not a good combination. There was also something about cramps, but that might just be related to swimming.
Marauding-cramp is right after heat-stroke on the list of poorly named afflictions. If “shingles” would ever retire, they both would have a shot a number one.
[…] Diggs takes the mickey out of memes with: Marauding Monday. Warning: some asterisks were killed in the making of this […]