Carping Diem 008: Medicate
By Brent Diggs on May 16, 2007 in Harold Toboggans, Humor
Critical insights from the brilliant and compassionate
Doctor Harold Toboggans
“I ‘m not sure what your problem is,
But I‘m betting I can medicate it into oblivion.”
Dr. Toboggans is the staff psychologist, resident motivational speaker, and official personal development coach of the Ominous Comma.
For the greater good of humanity, Dr. Toboggans has graciously granted us permission to publish outtakes and excerpts from his various sessions, capturing the master at work encouraging, mentoring, and assaulting people into their fullest potential, no matter how small it might be.
Click here to learn more about the amazing Dr. Toboggans’ highly abrasive funny psychology.
Another service from your intelligent humor provider: the Ominous Comma.
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Dr. T,
Nice attempt to lure Lynn back to the psyche circus!
(Really cute pic but we know the real Doctor…harsh, sinister, and manipulative)
Okay, that is some kind of medication — it looks like those little pills that grow into baby dinosaurs when you put them in water. I have never seen medication in packs of three! I just think you need to work on those props…
Yeah, I agree with rjlight. And what ARE you trying to do, make me feel guilty for being on meds? You don’t wanna see me NOT on them. Come to think of it, that would be now…..uh-oh
Actually, they are baby dinosaur pills. Once they hatch, they feed on your anxieties and neurosis until your nervous system is squeaky clean.
Of course there is an extra charge for dinosaur removal.
Anna,
If you feel guilty then you must not have taken enough of your meds.
Check back when you’re feeling better.
Baby dinosaur pills? Well, as long as they’re not suppositories.
I won’t take another pill (at least not without a second opinion)!
Debbie,
Don’t forget to meet me. Please bring a chocolate covered cherry, not the fake wal-mart kind (they only go well with the wal-mart beer), but the good kind. Maybe from a real candy shop. Thank you.
Debbie,
Thank you so much for the cherry, the make-up, the fresh change of clothes, and the pep talk. I feel like I can face Fording now. Sorry about the squirrel. I did not realize he would react like that.
Well sorry I have been missing for so many days. Recovering from my duel with Farnsworth - fell into the outhouse hole while chasing him with my attack possum.
I like the idea of pills for everything.
Eddie
Good to have you back Eddie. Please keep the ladies company while I struggle through a comment hiatus of my own.
Happy Friday
Lynn where are you?
I distinctly said to meet me at the frosting facility by the yeti breeding ground, not the one by the UFO refueling station.
Amateurs!
I saw Lynn by the yeti breeding grounds a few moments ago. I think she was with Debbie, but I’m not sure. Does Debbie have gorgeous brown hair, and big beautiful eyes?
Sorry,
That was the squirrel on Debbie’s head, but it is good to know that Debbie is with Lynn. It should be easier for Dr. T to catch up with them if they are both together.
Lynn,
If Fording does not show soon, have Debbie get you out.
hey, those pills are celebrex…those only make you fart really loud. but then that could be therapuetic