Hello boys and girls, as these words are being absorbed into your thirsty cerebellums, I am at work recuperating from the last night’s DangerCouch show.

If events go anything like last year, this may not be my most productive day in the American workforce, but if showing up is fifty percent of success, then consider me half-there.

Once again, the lovely and mysterious Hot Comma Momma, has chipped in to assist my exhausted authorship with a few brief words of enlightening wisdom. And as she is graduating just few days from now with a minor in Spanish, she has elected to address us in that noble tongue.

Since many of you dear readers may not be fluent in S. Paniel, I have graciously offered to translate her Hotness’s every word for the web-wide audience.

Although it is true that I don’t technically speak Spanish, I have been bestowed by the authorities at WordPress with all the mighty and manifold powers of a blogger, which as usual, I intend to squander on trivial displays of skill such as this.

So here’s what’s going to happen, her Punctuated Loveliness will issue a line in Spanish and I will immediately translate it with alarming accuracy. If we are lucky, we may get through without causing an international incident.

It Begins:

Tú eres un hombre increíble y talentoso. En todos los años que yo te ha sabido,

I love my home because it is oh so talented, although it tends to be anal, especially on Saturdays

yo nunca he estado más orgulloso de tú. Tú obras son excelentes. Pronto el mundo

It is overflown by masses of seagulls every second day, but our excellent son promptly moons them.

entero entenderá cuán maravilloso tú eres. Sólo personas que son realmente

Once across the tundra came a villainous two-eared swan, flying towards our son, the only real man present at the time.

estúpidos perderían leyendo sus palabras. Espero que tú nunca pares escritura.

Foolishly, the bird laid into some friendly brassieres until a sparrow hit the creature with some pears.

El mundo te necesita. Yo te necesito. No sólo tú eres un escritor talentoso, pero

But it was necessary to moon the bird again. Very necessary. For although the bird had grit, it lacked talent for any other approach.

también un padre que cuida y el marido que cuida. Hay nadie como tú en el planeta.

Just then a parade of tambourines appeared, marauding all enemies of the Comma and chasing them around the globe.

Yo no sé cómo tú llegas a ser más guapo como los años pasan. Tú tienes la

Yet, no one came by to see the legos, even after several years had passed. They were just too tiny.

inteligencia, el talento y un corazón de oro. Recuerde, tú puedes hacer algo. No

Intelligence agencies were recruiting at Autozone, but still no Alger Hess was found.

hay nada demasiado difícil para tú.

It was as difficult to demystify as a pair of twos. (The dumb man’s hand.)

,

Recuerdo que cuando tú salvaste las abejas asesinas de desaparecer. Nadie más en el
mundo habría sacrificado su trasero y su reputación. Esas abejas no te merecieron.
Gracias para siempre cuidar más acerca de otros que tú mismo. También, recuerdo que
cuando tú te caíste del árbol que tratas de salvar ese perro. Esos niños deben
haber sabido mejor que tirarlo ahí arriba. Tú y el perro pareció gran en sus moldees
parejos. ¡Tú eres un hombre sinceramente asombroso!

I really hate those birds.

Well, that’s quite a story. Her Hotliness is nothing if not imaginative. I try to keep her grounded but she’s always following these flight of fancy. Very high maintenance, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I’m sure she will be stunned at my insightful transliterating skills. I know I am.

Happy Friday.

—-

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