Carping Diem 20: Transport
By Brent Diggs on Sep 28, 2007 in Harold Toboggans, Humor
Having been gone just long enough to give us to hope for a complete cure, the intractable Dr. Harold Toboggans returns to further inflict himself upon a woefully unprepared world.
If you have ruby slippers in your possession, now would be a good time to start clicking.
“Is there a special short bus
that picks you up for your sessions here?“
Dr. Toboggans is the staff psychologist, resident motivational speaker, and official personal development coach of the Ominous Comma. Like a herd of rabid flatulent badgers it is best to avoid eye contact with the doctor unless you have thick leather gloves and hopefully a better metaphor. Even then you should exercise extreme caution, preferably in a distant health club.
Learn more about the amazing Dr. Toboggans here. Another service of the Ominous Comma, the first, middle*, and last name in intelligent humor.
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*Use of the middle name does not necessarily constitute parental disciplinary measures, but it is strongly implied.
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I take the yellow brick road, not the short yellow bus to Dr. T’s, clicking my ruby red slippers the entire way…
Reaching the Good Doctor is kind of similar to reaching the Emerald City, considering all that green I have to fork over for just one session.
Do you ever break into song along the way?
Just on the way home…
“So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl…
Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road”
Then the song escapes me and Dr. T sucks me back in for more therapy.
The mustache is magnificent!
Thank you, it’s worked very hard to become so.
has it taken on a life of it’s own?
Yes, and the lives of several others as well. Approach with extreme caution.
My kids have 2 middle names. The use of 1 middle name means you are in trouble. The use of 2, well…
I love the new start page. I wanted to comment on it, but it said the comment section was closed. Who is the girl?
Little Miss Ominous
(according to the caption) ;)
Well Digg her a permanent spot at the Comma; she is beautiful.
I simply lack the time to handle the masses of men who seem compelled to hit upon little miss Ominous. So I took precautions.
LMO stalkers should be seen and not heard.
Actually, I don’t really want to see them either.
Yes, that would be a full time job for you, however; with a name like LMO I bet she can handle it.
She takes a cruel pleasure in the art of the turndown. She is quite good, it must come from her mother’s side.
Oh that’s funny. I guess you know her mother well.
Very well. Little Miss Ominous is in fact the chipped block of the Hot Comma Momma.
Not only did the apple not fall far from the tree, I haven’t been able to get it off the branch.
(Not that I’m complaining.)
I know your pain. I have a little miss tea cup moose herder myself and she also gets lots of attention from creepy little teen aged pervs. My solution for not seeing them was to purge the local population of all males between 12 and 60. It took care of a lot of problems but now with only women around, traffic has become an issue.
I tried that but they keep repopulating.
It’s like some weird red-neck video game: Advance to Level Three - Bonus Round.
My question is:
How fun IS a mayonnaise enema?
YO,
Ummmm……… well……..yeah.
That’s kind of personal. Just remember, if it doesn’t work, the next step is a mix of motor oil and speedy dry.
The general idea is to set the bar low enough that this site comes across as an inspired work of genius.
The only thing I can think of worse that a mayonnaise enema is perhaps Chris’s concoction.
I can see that you’ve never experienced the “Fever Reducer Extraordinaire”™ utilized by fine hospitals everywhere. I also goes by the generic name of “ice water aspirin enema” and is known on the street as “Chillin’” or “Numbass”.
No, I can’t say that I have ever
enduredexperienced that particular procedure and to be honest, it’s not really on my list of things to do either.I’m so behind, and I just don’t know where to start. I guess I’ll try to catch up next week…
Maybe I need to develop a comment summery. Something like Soap Opera Digest to help everyone keep up with action.
Lynn’s squirrel can be on the cover of the first edition.
Dear Doctor Toboggans,
(she said, while studiously striving to avoid eye contact, as recommended)
There is something creepily stalkerish comforting in knowing that you peer in on my blog every so often, as revealed by the MyBlogLog widget which I unwisely installed sometime ago.
Seeing your face there makes me feel.. well…. cared about…
Cared about, in that Life-in-a-Fishbowl, Psychiatric/Sociological-Experiment sort of way that would be at home in an episode of Twilight Zone.
I’ve considered uninstalling the widget, but then I fear you’d be forced to peer in the bedroom window, and where would that leave us? We musn’t indulge my psychiatric fetish any more than necessary.
*wistful sigh*
er…. the “creepily stalkerish” bit was meant to have strikethrough on it. I don’t know why it didn’t work, but it distinctly ruined the humor! HRRMPH.
brilliant post