Loose Ends
By Brent Diggs on Jun 17, 2008 in Humor
Dear readers, I am writing this note hoping to clear up some of the mystery and confusion that despite my best….average…occasional attempts at clarity still seem to blanket this site like a freshly fallen snow, often piling up in drift of raw enigma, sending traffic skidding out of control across all lanes of the information superhighway .
Having already generated more than enough questions with my previous few posts, I am going to do my best to be a responsible citizen and reduce my interrogative footprint* by cutting straight to the answers.
Yes, I screwed up the Name That Quote mini-contest. - It seems that in order to get accurate responses on this sort of thing it helps to put forth the correct quote. So to correct this grievous error, the real and proper quote is:
“Yes. We’re in it.”
And as a little something for your trouble, you can find a hint located here:
Click Me for a Clue
Yes, I finally finished that poor overlooked wooden step from my Home Maintenance Vacation - without much pain, suffering or loss of digits on my part. - I’m no Don Lewis, but I can do modest woodwork when I put my mind to it. And get off the computer. And assemble all the right tools. And am trying to impress my wife.
The Proof
And finally,
Yes, that’s me onstage singing in that last video. With my friends DangerCouch, who are wanted in several states for drum rustling.
Which is not only embarrassing, but also threatens to raise even more questions. Questions which I will attempt to dispatch before they can escape the nest.
- Yes, I’m in a band.
- No, we don’t thoroughly suck.
- Yes, that much plaid in one location does violate both zoning ordinances and international treaties. I know.
Although there are probably more questions out there, that’s all the words we have for now.**
Happy Tuesday.
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*There is an endangered supply of original questions in this world, with most of the ones you encounter being hackneyed variations of: Who, What, Where, When, and How Much is That in American Money.
**As a lesser known part of the Patriot Act, all internet publications are subject to strict word rationing except for those that actively support the war effort by supplying partisan politics or celebrity gossip.
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Alltop.com - I’m on it.
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The light in the pic has washed out most of your hint so I’ll apply a S.W.A.G. and say Blazing Saddles. Have a good week. I’m off to vanquish the local bug population with my eager students!!
Chris, If it was going to be that easy I’d give my hints to the Air Force, not a dedicted, hard-charging, insect-devouring jarhead like yourself.
Get cracking.
(Brainstorming)
I can’t figure it out. Stink!
Let’s give some other people a bit of a chance and if there is no luck, I will post another hint.
Being no Don Lewis is nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand, if you want to give it a try, I’m selling a kit.
Actaully, I found that the phrase, “I’m no Don Lewis” to be very effective in prventing violent confrontations with local authorities, usually while wearing plaid.
Me that is, not the authorities.
I don’t know what you did here in Memphis, but the cops are gunning for you and they don’t seem very afraid to injure any innocent palid-wearing bystanders to get you.
The quote is from the movie Rat Race (2001)
Don is sooooo smart:)
Debbie, it’s ok; everyone has off days. You need to share anyway. You can’t always be right, just 99% of the time. Besides, Don needed this one.
Hey Camille! What did I win?
And just what are you implying by “Don needed this one”???
Do you think my life is so pathetic, so lonely, so unimaginable dull and pointless that I hang around the blogs of famous and powerful humorists hoping to be tossed some off-hand faint praise like a half-staved cur beneath his Master’s table? Well Mrs. Smarty Pants! I have a life! Oh Yes! A good life! Full of things to do! HAHA! Boy I’m having fun! HA!
Or did you mean something else?
Yes Don, you win. And as a prize you will receive a lovely a two hundred pound, half-rotted, insect-sheltering tree trunk.
Your prize is of course absolutely free, there is however a small matter of shipping and handling.
I think $500 should about cover it.
Rat Race? I was not even close!
Did you cheat Don?
Thank you Camille! I will be sure and explain to Kyle the 99% factor.
You mean like did I type “Yes. We’re in it.” into the Google search engine, and when that didn’t prove to be conclusive, entering the same info into Yahoo?
Absolutely not.
I might have done something like that for a prize of lesser importance, but we’re talking a rotting tree stump here!
For swag like this, you simply cannot let ethics stand in the way.
I am so glad that you won the tree stump Don. No one deserves it more!
Attention!!! My husband has impressed me! I am very happy with the step and the tree. He is amazing, talented, and handsome. Ladies, stay back, I have a trebuchet and I’m not afraid to use it!
Opps. Forgot. Welcome back. Glad you’re safe.
Be careful, I trained her my self.
(What a wild ride…)
Watch those smiles ladies, it could send you airborne!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
After the Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! comes the thud!
Ouch! No more trebuchet rides for me unless I use my parachute. Kidding!
If that much plaid is a violation of zoning laws, where did you get it. Is there some sort of shady Memphis backstreet tailor churning out plaid suits?
My suit is the careful culmination of a lifetime’s work in the fields of style, armament, and psychological warfare.
Not my lifetime of course, I found it in a thirft store, but somebody out there put a lot of love into that suit.
You can see it in every eye-searing stripe and square.
T’is truly a match for Iron mans armor suit, Tony Stark aint got nothing on Brent Diggs.
Mr. Brent, in light of your recent wood-working excellence, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to drop by the Likely Estate and repair my book-case. You see, there was a terribly unfortunate incident involving my man-servant being thrown into it last Sunday night.
I know you’re the man for the job!
Quite right, Your Lordship. There is nothing more clumsy than an airborne man-servant.
Except perhaps an inebriated rhinocersous, but that is beyond the scope of this comment.
Far beyond…I hope.
Anyway, I’ll be over in a jiffy. As soon as I find one.
Has anyone seen my jiffy?
What a dangerous question. I better not answer on the grounds that I may take flight again.
(Sorry Camille…you can slap & sling me to China if you want!) Just please do not teach Kyle how to operate the Trebuchet or I may never be missionary…err…stationary again!
Oh my…I’ve done enough damage today…it’s Don or Lobo’s turn…
Oh my, how stunning you look in your PLAID suit!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ooops, just a slight loss of control there. Seriously you look very vibrant and youthful and…mmph!…and handsom….and debon…haha…oops…so…so…haahah…so…so
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!
SHooT, I can’t help myself.
You need a new taylor…it was talored wasn’t it? I mean you can’t actually BUY something like that…can you???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Alrighty the, I’m outta here. LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Robin.
You really should learn to lighten up and not take things so seriously.
Don is a great man.
Oh my Gawd! Don? Is that YOU??? You aren’t showing up HERE TOO!!! Oh no, smote me down!!! I’m doomed! I thought that if I left a few “polite” comments on your site that that would be enough, but noooooo, you have to come here as well.
Don, you know what they say to a dog?….”Go home, Go home Right NOW!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA — oh Gawd someone save me from such hilarity!!!
Brent, Don won’t ever see this will he??? LOLOLOLOL
Ahhh,that’s okay Don, you know I’m a devoted follower of your crazed cult! LOLOLO
I LUV it!!!
Perhaps I should issue complementary tranquilizers to each visitor so they’re not overwhelmed by our industrial strength hilarity.
I know it would be an added expess but I have a responsibility to ensure safe blogging.
Oh gawd Brent! It ceases to amaze me the amount of hilarity you invite and INSTIGATE here!!! It’s really quite a grand ol’ free for all!!!
I laugh my guts out…Did I hear you say tranquilizers??? Huh? huh? :) :)
Okay, I am out of here!!!
I am rather ceased in my amazement as well.