I’m Not A Guest Blogger But I Play One On TV
By Brent Diggs on Jul 24, 2008 in Humor
We interrupt your normally scheduled guest blogging adventure to bring you this Toboggans Search Update, somewhat live from the neon-illuminated wasteland of Northern Nevada.
The road to Toboggans* has been a twisted and tangled one, fraught with peril and roadside urination. Danger has been my constant companion, often taking up the entire back seat of my rental vehicle.
The thrilling details of this epic journey will make someone a great post someday, but for now let me leave you with a few snapshot from the road.
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The most ingenious video game ever invented. No buttons, no joystick, no coordination. Just jumping, jumping, more jumping and then your child’s blissful collapse into exhaustion.
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Travel Tip Number One - Never, ever forget the tranquilizers.
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Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for some useless ornamental metal.”
Employee: “Sorry pal, you’re in the wrong place.”
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Comma Girl discovers her place in the world
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I was a little confused about what to do here. After all, I’ve never gone number five before.
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The Comma Clan and I will soon be back to full blogging strength in our secret lair deep in the rancid heart of Memphis. Until then, you relax where you are and hopefully I’ll continue not discovering Doctor Harold Tob-
—Transmission ends—–
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* Caution- The phrase Road to Toboggans may cause Bob Hope to rise from his grave in an undead avenging fury. It might be wise to keep some kosher salt handy, just in case.
Big thanks again to Chris Cameron of Angry Seafood for his masterful guest blogging efforts while I’m away.
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Listed upon Humor-Blogs.com as well as allltop.com
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Comma Girl seems to be doing a dandy impersonation of that guy from ‘the temple of doom’ in that first shot.
Yes, we’ve learned to never turn our back on that one.
However, we have had good results from occasionally turning the firehose upon her.
Brent! What’s it like out there? Does ‘natural sunshine’ really make our flesh burst into flame, or is that just a rumor?
I don’t know Lobo, I didn’t take any chances. I coated myself, head to toe, in a double application of silver oxide “Mirro-block,” guaranteed for 100% solar reflection.
It was very effective, but unfortunately all that ricocheting radiation seems to have temporarily blinded the rest of the family.
No one seems to offer seeing-eye pets by the family pack either.
i actually have gone number 5 before. and it was not pleasant.
Did you require the services of a hazmat team, or were the paramedics able to handle it themselves?
Great post. Give me a high number five! On second thought, maybe not.
I have no real experience to draw from, but I’m sure the resultant vapors would be quite intoxicating.
Oxygen deprivation can be such an ugly thing. Worse still, if you pass out at the scene of the crime.
Camille looks kinda’ hot when she’s going postal.
By the way, I think thats one of the new Wii entertainment urinals. It’s kind of like those clown heads in the midways, where you shoot water into the clowns mouth to make the balloon expand. 5 is probably average.
Makes going to the bathroom with a friend a lot more competitive.
Uhmm, that’s not Camille, that’s commateen. Don’t hurt him Brent, he didn’t know that was your teenaged daughter. Run Don!!!!! RUUUUNNNN!!!
Yes Don, I have always maintained that there should be more sports based on bodily functions. But if it ever got to an olympic level of competition, just think of all the anti-doping screening required.
Would a two-gallon swig of coffee be considered cheating?
In addition: that picture does feature my eldest offsping, sometimes known as little miss ominous, but Camille has also mastered that particular expression as well.
I just seem to bring it out in people.
Really? She has a very mature snarl.
Why does everyone (Like the local police, my minister and most of my neighbors.) think I’m some kind of pervert?
Perhaps I meant that as a complement to HCM? You know, the old “Why you look like twins!” thing.
I think I’ll just go now.
Thanks Don, you’re my new best friend.
Good stuff–care to place a wager on the Mets for Rickey while you’re out there? Pretty please? Rickey will be your best friend….
You know I would, Rickey, but I’ve spent all my money buying information about Dr T from the locals around here.
I might even have to hitchhike home.
I kind of like the “middle danger.” She looks guilty about something. Got her ipod taken away. Skulking in self-pity…. very good look.
Or perhaps she is just bored.
Trouble is two of her middle names. That’s why I try to never travel without sedatives.
For me of course.
Sleeping through danger is a strategy that has served me well.
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