Now The Tale Can Be Told
By Brent Diggs on Jul 28, 2008 in Humor
In the face of suffering, hardships, and countless adversities the Comma clan and myself, its road-weary patriarch, have returned at last from the ill-fated TobogganSearch, to the malarial cheer of our Memphis headquarters.
The Ominous Comma’s Memphis Headquarters
The trauma of our ordeal has left me with large gaps in my memory, no doubt for my own protection, which has also left me at a loss to properly recount our adventures.
Fortunately, I seem to have kept a journal of our many travels and travails and using it, I will attempt to share with you in some small measure, the many joys and heartaches of the TobogganSearch experience.
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Day 1 - Memphis Airport - Security
“After removing my shoes, belt, and random patches of skin, I was certified semi-naked enough to board the plane.
I’m not sure what this did for the security of the other passengers, but it left me feeling very liberated and a little drafty…”
Security is in the tear-filled eyes of the beholder
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The First Flight - Memphis to Las Vegas - 1407 miles
“A most unremarkable journey which, due to the lateness of the hour, was punctuated mostly by snores and the occasional splatter of drool.
Doctor Toboggans was nowhere in evidence within the slim spaces between my eyes and their heavy lids.”
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Interlude - Las Vegas Rental Car Station
“Even though we had left behind the airport and its many inspection stations, pastry security was still high. I have no doubt that any terrorist attempting to hijack a donut would be swiftly brought to justice.
New from the NSA - “HoneyBun” the Hungry Terrorist Trap
And even if he escaped this trap, he would undoubtedly be captured while attempting the unknown bodily function.”
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With this much fun on the first day, just imagine the thrills in store for us all as the saga continues on Wednesday.*
Don’t miss the action - subscribe to the Comma in a reader or by email - today.
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*Whatever level of thrillage you just imagined, it was a lowball estimate compared to what is in store for you in the next jaw-dropping chapter of TobogganSearch.
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I find that the security around donuts isn’t really tight enough. I’ve been able to involuntarily circumvent it quite regularly. Now, try getting through the security at a gym is tough. Even though you can’t see it, its impregnable. I just can’t seem to get into those places.
There is definitely an infinite-inertia field around all exercise equipment, and the more that are gathered in one place, the stronger the field.
Donuts however, have their own gravitational field.
All things have their own gravitational field. Even you.
Pentalift
@Chris non-C - How do you involuntarily circumvent something on a regular basis? You might as well say ‘I accidentally avoided the cameras so I could steal a doughnut without being seen…..every day!’
@Brent - Great pics, but I do have one question, why were there so many doughnuts missing after you took the picture? Did you involuntarily circumvent the cameras too?
Chris non-C is accidentally brilliant on a regular basis.
As for the donuts, I have this jedi-like power to use their own gravity to draw them to me. Unfortunately, it’s a subconscious talent.
Thank you, for the inadvertent compliment….(I think)
I deliberately tried to avoid cameras once and it didn’t go so well.(those poor Peabody ducks) So now, I just accidentally avoid them so no birds or donuts security guys get hurt. It’s the polite thing to do.
It looks cleaner than when we left.
Thank you. I also re-tarped your roof.
Looks like you got into the fridge too.
And I thought it was the mosquitos.
‘*Whatever level of thrillage you just imagined, it was a lowball estimate compared to what is in store for you in the next jaw-dropping chapter of TobogganSearch.’
If there arent at least 4 ninjas and a jedi involved I may be disappointed.
How about three hobos and a monk?
close enough!
Rickey welcomes you back sir. That is one most excellent shanty you’ve got going on in that first image.
Nothing but the finest for my peoples. I don’t have a satellite dish, but the antlers pull in UHF pretty well.
is that….astroturf?
Algae. It’s the next big thing in lawn care.
Too bad it’s so hard to mow without scuba tanks.
I hope you didn’t buy that place with a sub-prime loan. I’m sure the bank wouldn’t want it back.
That’s right, Jeff. This baby is all mine.
how is funny! he looks like cleaner than when we left. basically i think he hates clothes
Oh, he does.
hahaha! really? that was really funny.
And have you tried the donuts? Or maybe they didn’t give you to touch them because there were there for terrorist to get poisoned :)