Reader Solidarity Averts Inspection Threat
By Brent Diggs on Jun 18, 2007 in Adventures of the Author, Humor
In a frantic commenting show of support, the readers of this site have spared the Comma from the ravages of the Humor-Blogs.com inspectors. Much like other packs of predators, the Humor-Blog.com inspectors seem to single out the weak and the infirmed for their merciless services to the ecosystem. Your strong support, loving concern and a very small moose* have convinced the Humor-Blogs.com examiners to push back the review of the Ominous Comma and turn their attentions instead to other, less well-defended sites. In fact, so shaken were these normally fearless inspectors, that even their paperclip-pierced leader, known only as Diesel, hastily fled the country under the guise of a “family vacation.”
Clearly, Comma fans are a force to be reckoned with.**
Unlike the timid readers of other blogs I could mention, Ominous Comma commentors eagerly contribute to the ongoing conversations of this highly conversant site. Absent are the trackbacks and “great post” token sentiments found on other blogs, these people take up the story and make it their own. Unafraid to mold it and mutate it and add their own personal neuroses, these little comma providers often transform “my” posts into such a glorious frenzy of free flowing humor, that if I didn’t carefully monitor the exchange of misinformation, I myself would be lost.***
This is in no way a bad thing.
If you are secretly longing to comment, but don’t know if your contribution is appropriate, just remember this: just like every other area of the Comma, in the comment section creativity trumps accuracy every time. So come on out and comment, we promise not to laugh at you. Actually, we promise not to not-laugh at you.
Let us also take a minute to support Chris C. whose blog Nothing to See Here has been radically accelerated in the Humor-Blogs.com review queue, quite possibly taking the place of my own. Frankly, I think that Diesel and his minions have underestimated Chris and his resourcefulness, and by taking him for cannon fodder they have made a grave error.
Good luck Chris, we salute you.****
Remember a couple dozen comments a day keeps the inspectors at bay.
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*No, I won’t explain it. You will have read the comments for yourself.
**I have my own team of experts analyzing this mysterious Comma Fan Force for possible application as an alternative energy source.
***Lost is of course, a term used by my wife in a futile attempt to get me to pull over and ask for directions. There will be no such show of weakness here, I only use the term out of convenience, so men and women alike will recognized the “temporarily and soon passing spatial disorientation that requires no outside interference” I refer to.
****If you have followed the link, you will know by now that Chris C. has already been judged. While some of the critiques were heavy-handed and frankly questionable, they were if fact people’s opinions. What is documented fact is that Chris scored well and held his head high in the face of some rather harsh nitpicking.
Kudos Chris. You sir, rock with great intensity and severity.
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Join the campaign to end Comma illiteracy. Blogroll the Ominous Comma today.
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I’m the first little comma! I forgot what I was gonna say.
Oh, stop whining — you’re in the top 5 and I’ve been stuck at 31 points for the last year! ;)
Hey great score. Thanks for the props, but I kinda wish you hadn’t given my moose so much credit, because now he wont stop strutting around all puffed up.
Lynn,
Please send the squirrel to knock him down a peg or two for me. Thanks.
That’s the problem with those tea cup mooses, they have little man’s disease in abundance.
Cough, cough. I said,”Unlike the timid readers of other blogs I could mention, Ominous Comma commentors eagerly contribute to the ongoing conversations of this highly conversant site.”
See, we’re just dripping with dry wit and irony. All part of our humorous contributions!
Seriously though, where the heck did everyone go?
Sorry,
I meant to come by sooner, but the squirrel got a bit out of hand this weekend.
Chris,
I’ll send him over after he is done cleaning up his mess. I did not know that Jell-O could look like that.
Debbie,
Please avoid the vicinity of Quaker and Oatnut Streets. The squirrel had some Jell-O fun this weekend, and it would not be good for you to see.
Jenn,
Please keep Debbie away from Quaker and Oatnut if she does not get this message soon enough. I don’t want her to freak out. Thanks.
Brent,
I had some throat drops that I could have loaned you for that cough, but the squirrel hid them last week and I have not come across them again. I did hear that the Piggly Wiggly was having a sale though.
Brent,
Thanks for encouraging us to write, even if we are not perfect. We know what to do. Just remember that Debbie, Jenn, and I are a bit closer to perfect than your typing/spelling errors. (I have the squirrel edit my work.) He always wants to write about chocolate though.
rjlight,
Would you like some cheese with your whine?
Squirrel just found some in the Jell-O.
Chris,
You may want to get a towel for that dripping problem. You know, there are companies now that will personalize your towels for you. You could put some of your wit on it.
Lynn,
I’m glad to see that I did not intimidate you by putting you on the spot in this post.
May I suggest a leash for your squirrel?
I have seen a water-skiing squirrel before. You never know the wonders that may come from the south. That would be one to place under the category of “red-neck hobbies and past times”. He didn’t need a leash, although they may have surgically implanted remote-controlled magnets on his feet to keep him on the board while the remote-controlled motorboat zoomed across the pool. No, wait, that seems a bit too complex. They probably lured him with cheap lite beer and red hot cheetos. After feeding him a steady diet of that crap he was very suggestible.
I would like some cheese and wine, please. Wolf Blass, Shiraz with some baked brie covered with caramel and toasted pecans, served with some pear slices. You can put it on my tab.
That’s another thing I love about the Ominous Comma, bar tabs.
The little commas skeer inspectors? I’m surprised… how can they not love a predatory pack of punctuation??
Ok, they skeer me too sometimes. Especially that moose. Have you noticed his antlers look a bit like ominous quotation marks?
MT,
Hey, don’t mention the shape of his antlers, he gets very self conscious. Folks always accuse him of doing air quotes, buts he’s, like, “hey man, those are my antlers”.
When I see air quotes, I hear the word/sound “buckachong!” Kind of fitting if his antlers look like quotes….But I won’t mention it. I’ll just smile at him.
MT,
The inspectors love young sites like the Comma in the same way wolves appreciate the presence of injured grazers in a herd.
Unfortunately for them, the readership of this site did the circle-up with pokey horns facing outward thing.
The inspectors never stood a chance.
Jenn,
Buckachong! is my new favorite word.
Introducing me to it should just about cover your tab.
I read the other day that people who make up words are politicians at heart. Jenn should run for president and Brent should run for city mayor. I would totally vote for both of them. Rich could be the first man. It would be great. Camille could be the mayor’s wife and people could make up all kinds of hideous scandles about her. She would totally hate that. Never mind Brent. You will have to be satisfied with the comma.
Brent,
Rich shared “buckachong!” with me, and he actually heard it from Dan Chaffer when he and Lori came to VS.
So Lynn, I guess I can’t really be president because I didn’t actually make up the word. But thanks for the nomination and the vote of confidence. I’ll definitely put it on my resume and in my portfolio
Buckachong for president!!
Lynn–The squirrel is chocking on the cheese.
choking oops maybe its chocking on the chalk
I’m lost again…and I’m a consistent reader, little comma girl and all…Please bring a site translator onto the ominouscomma staff…
I was hoping you could explain it to me.
I think what we need is a little weekly pamphlet like the Soap Opera Digest I see on the magazine racks in grocery stores. Someone could keep track of the conversation threads
and present them in some sort of coherent order.
Or I could just set up a forum so everyone could chatter in nice nested sub-threads.
The OC readers and commentors do not need a translator. We are perfectly content in our state of confusion.
DITTO!
(the contentment in confusion bit)
Martin Luther once said,”Confusion is the only real wisdom”. So that means us little commas must be very…..very, wise.
Thanks very much for the props! I am now the Kirstin Dunst of humor blogs by the way, a feat I am most proud of.
I don’t think my review was that bad. The only thing that bothered me was the accusation that I copy other people’s material. They must have confused me with Carlos Mencia. :)
Chris Cameron,
Don’t worry, good things are worth repeating. Just don’t forget to footnote.
Chris,
Yes! That is what I’m talking about. Us little commas are very very intelligent.
My blog is all my own writing. No need to footnote as I am the source. :)
Kirstin- I mean Chris C,
I never doubted your originality. But if you are looking for someone to hang upside and plant a big kiss on you, I’m afraid I’m busy that day.
Diesel might be free though.
Chris C,
You obviously have not been seeing enough of the good Dr. or you would understand that footnoting yourself is great advertisement and boosts your morale. The more often you can put your own name in a sentence the better.
ahhhh! So I was misintrepreting what you meant. This whole comma language thing takes some getting used to. Sure there’s not a spare ‘Comma Terms and Glossary for Dummies’?
Chris C,
There was a glossary but my Tea Cup moose ate it. Sorry, it was the same color as a bag of peanut butter M&M’s.
Chris C,
I’m afraid that spontaneous random language generation is one of the undisclosed side-effects of this site.
It has really slowed up our FDA approval.
Lynn,
Chris sent this to you. He thought you might recognize him.