Selling Out
By Brent Diggs on Mar 28, 2007 in Adventures of the Author, Humor
We are exactly 56 days into the raging torrent of mirth know as the Ominous Comma and already I have decided to sell out my meager allotment of artistic integrity and virtual street credibility for improved ratings.
Shhhh. I’m listening for mouse clicks.
(Sometimes a bold statement like this, will itself be enough to dislodge a landslide of free publicity.)
Okay, I’m not really selling out, but I am changing my tagline / subtitle-thingy to try to improve search engine results.
Whereas the phrase, “an accidentally insightful exploration of life and related activities” is still quite accurate, it makes no mention of this site’s primary contribution to the webcology, which I hope is humor.*
Many people have stumbled across this blog due to my carefully implemented Search Engine Optimization strategy of accidental discovery. Some of the more unlikely search strings include, “Cambodian farming,” “Gastrology doctor,” and “captain life married exists comma.” But I can find no evidence of anyone searching for “humor,” “funny,” or even “comically brilliant creative genius expressions of writing talent” and ending up at this site. So I thought that perhaps if I actually put the word humor into my tagline, more of the Comma deprived masses might find shelter on these comforting shores.**
Of course, I may fail in this effort of selfless self-promotion but a least I will fail a free man, liberated from the shackles of…my first descripta-phrase thing.
As of tomorrow, my new tagline will read, “containing the maximum humor allowed by law.” And for those inquisitive souls already pondering what law could possibly regulate internet humor content. I have conveniently posted it for you right here:
Federal Statute 625a subparagraph 12
No blog, website, or other publication, electronic or print, shall display content containing more than 999,998 part per million of comedy, humor or hilarity. Humor providers shall ensure adequate pauses in the form of non-humorous content to comprise a minimum of .000002% of total volume to provide sufficient allowance for audience breathing and other bodily functions.
So the next time you see your congressperson, governor, or warden, please remind him or her that this site is still within legal limits, although just barely.
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*I have also been informed that the creative output found here is quite useful in horticulture. One individual put it this way “…this site is so full of (fertilizer) that your banner’s brown!” Such frank assessments of viewer value warm my heart and bring tears to my eyes, much like a jalapeno milkshake.
**No lifeguard on duty, no diving. Comforting hours: 8am-8pm.
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I must point out that the header is in fact dark orange, not brown.
You are not selling out…just perfecting genius (can you perfect genius?) Anyway, you could alter your existing subtitle- thingy just a tad to read, “an accidentally insightful exploration of humor and related activities.”
I want to know who said my favorite site is full of fertilizer! I dare them to state that on line…to actually go to this blog site and explain to all of their family, friends, enemies, lovers, co-workers, & strange acquaintances, to venture The Comma and see what all this fertilizer is about!
I think I have made the connection that Dan Dan is Mr. Baker, and if he says the banner is dark orange (looks sepia-tone to me) then it is dark orange damnit!
I have found it wise to never argue with Mr. DanDan, and I think I may add you to that list as well.
If it’s orange it’s very burnt orange. I go through these rethinking renaming as you might notice on my tagline change…I will probably make some suggestions and ask for comments — I am trying to focus on the humor and maybe have another site for my incredible insightful observations… Humor is just so risky though…
I personally think of the color as “Chocolate-Chip Cookie,” but that’s just me.
After Debbie’s great tag-line suggestion I am actually re-thinking my approach. If you smelled smoke, that would be why.
As for humor, there is risk, but I’m trusting Luck to pull me through.
Seriously, I think the biggest risk is that you wake up one day and it’s gone. Nothing you write seems funny anymore. I’ve been wrestling with that a bit lately, but there is light at the end of that tunnel.
I have five more weeks of school this semester and I am hoping that the reduced workload will equate to reduced pressure and increase creativity.
Either that or I get a grant from the Federal Department of Humor, (where they store all the humor forcibly extracted from government employees.) They’ve got plenty to spare.
I would argue that it is tan.
Ah, selling out. Racketing your website with a business card falls somewhere in there.
Good read though. I chuckled a few times. And great to hear things are well. My girl and I were kinda fazed earlier, tired and all. We’ve been working some really long shifts lately.
I completely understand. Feel free to check out the Best of the Comma category on the side bar to get an idea of what this site is about when I’m not so tired myself.
Good to hear from you.