TobogganSearch recounted - Part 2
Despite serious misgivings, I was persuaded by my youngest child to travel to Nevada in search of Doctor Harold Toboggans. It was a long and painful ordeal, far in excess of anything Dr. T could reasonably expect from anyone who had ever met him.
After an unpleasant beginning, delightfully documented in part 1, the suffering began in earnest. Follow along as we explore more sensational excepts from my poorly remembered, yet fully Pulitzer-worthy vacation journal.
Day 2 - Roadtrip - Las Vegas to Reno - 450 miles
“Highway 95, the thoroughfare that most directly connects Reno with Las Vegas, is a dry, desolate stretch of pavement that is measured not so much in miles as in urinary stops.”
The Search - Reno and Surrounding Areas
“From the moment we arrived in Reno, signs of Doctor Harold Toboggans were everywhere. His influence in that unfortunate township could not have been spelled out more thoroughly.”1
Spelling out the Doctor’s presence
“The city showed all the symptoms of prolonged Toboggans exposure: dry heat, restless wind, and sickened statues.”
Statuary Nausea - the surest indicator of Toboggans exposure.
But in spite of such promising evidence, the Doctor himself proved to be hard to find
Day 3 through Day 6
“Throughout the city of Reno we searched diligently for Doctor Toboggans but to no avail.
- We didn’t see him while playing laser tag.
- We didn’t sight him in any of the casino restaurants.
- We didn’t run into him while coming in late to The Dark Knight.
- We didn’t run into him while leaving early from Journey to the Center of the Earth.
- We didn’t spot him at the water park.
- We didn’t encounter him at the homes of friends and family.2
Despite our most earnest efforts, the Doctor was no where to be found.”3
Will the Doctor be found? Will the family survive? Will there be more rhetorical questions?
Find out as the story continues Friday.
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- Okay, I suppose it could have been better spelled out, but it would have easily required a dozen or more additional mountainside letters. «
- Our friends and family of course. No human being ever discovered will admit any relation with the Doctor of any kind, which is not really surprising among those who have suffered his presence. «
- True, I guess he could have been hiding out with the high rollers somewhere on the strip. All things considered, I guess it would be more accurate to say that he was nowhere I willing to find him. «
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
(Ok, I’ll take the easy one so other, funnier, people can concentrate on the good stuff)
I think that is a statue of me based on a photo of my trip to Vegas!!!!!!
(Brent, just add an lol cat that is about to barf to my little quip here and it will complete the tackiness and further reveal the poor taste of this whole comment)
….I’m gonna go now, I don’t feel well.
You need to check at one of those fancy “ranches” where all those nighttime ladies hang around. I heard Dr. T is a big investor of the ranch industry.
I think that we need to get a little philosophical here.
Toboggans is no longer just a man with with a fuller-brush franchise on his upper lip. To find Toboggans is an inward journey now.
Toboggans is a small part of everyone.
I’m considering the band saw.
It’s like Manifest Destiny, but with awful awful modern art!
That dude is really constipated! You would think he would take an Ex-Lax when the rock started forming in his backside.
I’m new to this whole Toboggan thing, but all a post needs to get me interested is ‘Vegas.’ Give me a few reads to understand it all.
Oh come now, it’s not complicated at all.
There’s this shrink who may or may not technically exist, and he is the source of all evil in my life, in spite of the fact that he may indeed be an alternate personality of myself.
Well I was busy hating him and everything was going along swimmingly until some guest blogger killed him off and then…
Okay, it’s complicated. I’ll have to get back to you when I figure it out myself.
Don’t look him in the eyes. It’ll get ugly fast.
Vegas does that to people.
Too bad this was in Reno, that just makes you a weirdo.
I will assume that “inward journey” is a reference to proctology.
That’s the only sense I can make of it.
It’s Highway 95: The Peeingest Road in America.
You’re right, I can’t imagine how anyone could get so backed up.
We ALL know the horrible truth Brent!!
All of your personalities maybe.
Just for that, we will all provide testimonials!
(Except Bolt Upright. He seems to be a little in doubt of your guilt.)
Was there ever a question about that?
Heh, having to explain one’s shtick to a newcomer can be trying. Rickey still gets the occasional question about why he writes primarily in the third person… COME ON NOW PEOPLE!!!
Should have gotten a Nazgul. They’re way easier to explain.
Your quest reminds me of some of my job hunts after college.
Too true.
I don’t mind, I try to explain everything everytime but this one time I took a shortcut…
Yeah Jeff, Those ranches are more like fenced in trailer parks. You can see them from the highway. Scary nasty looking places.
You could get a disease just from looking at then.
Serious.
reno to vegas in july - that sounds downright nasty hot.
Yes, but it was a very, very dry heat. It was the return to the mostly-liquid atmosphere of Memphis that was rough.