Way back at the beginning of our online adventure together, when I was writing the About the Author page, I made a solemn and binding promise to keep everyone updated on any new titles, adjectives, or insults applied to me.
I’ve noticed that no one has held me to that pledge, and where a wiser man would take that as a hint, I am choosing to interpret it as a challenge.
That’s right Comma enthusiasts, I am writing to inform you that I have gained a valuable new skill and received the accompanying title.
It is an impressive title, densely packed with copious quantities of honor and glory. A title so exalted that it could potentially cause my ego to exceed the confines of the earth, encompassing the atmosphere, magnetic fields, and satellites both natural and man-made in a shimmering haze of excessive pride if I were not so amazingly humble and well adjusted.
Today, I am officially declaring to anyone within the sound of my key clicks that I have become a Tree Wrangler.
I will pause briefly so you can be sufficiently impressed.
As a Tree Wrangler it was my responsibility to wrestle, articulate, actuate, and manipulate the evil mutant Christmas trees featured in the hit film1 Danger Couch and the Tinsel of Doom.
I know that although that many of you have never heard of Tree Wrangling before this moment, that you are nonetheless filled with a sudden and burning need watch these wrangled trees in action, no matter what the cost.
Both of you can buy the DVD here.
It should also be noted, in a belated attempt at accuracy, that I also acted, sang, danced, sweated, and emoted in the film, as well helping to write the thing.
If you are still interested click here.
If you like comedy, if ever wanted to put a face, voice, or body language to the words you find on this site, or even if you need some large and awkward coasters for your coffee table, allow me to suggest that you purchase a copy of the film to as an investment to treasure forever.
For those of you who have somehow traveled your life’s journey this far without ever experiencing Danger Couch in action, here is a link to one of the video episodes.
Watch out for the man in plaid, he’ll steal your heart.2
This post farmed out on work release by the kind deputes over at humor-blog.com
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I opted for the double dip bonus bundle, which left enough money for a September latte!
Loved the clip! Nice production level for video. Good editing. I’d buy the full film, but the FSRI is experiencing a credit crunch this month - we’ve out-leveraged ourselves trying to purchase a llama theme park in Peru.
I agree Karl! I was very impressed as well. You know you will have no excuse next month so start saving now!
I’d love to know what rjlight thinks of the link to one of the video episodes. She will now see why everyone thinks Camille is such a lucky woman. Stephen and Dan are pretty damn funny as well. All swooning aside (i’m making myself sick) the videos are hilarious.
I’m a little skeptical of the Danger Couch Tinsel of Doom DVD. It probably sucks. There has to be a kink in this empire of incredible talent somewhere. Ha!
Well, I let the kids join in on this one. That is probably my downfall.
(Actually, once you see my youngest in this one, you will be amazed.)
Debbie,
Thank you for your long standing support of the Ominous Comma and Danger Couch. You define the term support.
However,as a friend, allow me to advise you that you may wish to switch to a far standing approach, just to make sure you don’t get splattered with anything.
I can handle blog addiction, I’m learning to deal with global warming, but adding to the national dry cleaning deficit is something I just couldn’t live with.
Happy weekend.
I like the way you handle your wood, Mr. Tree Wrangler.
Always the firestarter, your Lordship. Have you no respect for capitalistic marketeering?
Where is Botter when you need him?
As long as your not splattering jell-o, I can handle it!
Oh and I’m sure your youngest child’s debut in Tinsel of Doom will be great. When she becomes a famous Hollywood actress she will already have a cult following due to Daddy’s “little” film.
She will have to lease my cult following from me.
I am simply not one of those soft-hearted dictators that would say, “Here honey, you take my cult. I’ll just stay here all alone and follower-less.”
No, she’ll have to work up her own cult or pay me a hefty fee.
And a cleaning deposit. There is nothing worse than getting back a stinky bunch of unwashed followers.
Hey, I bathe! Oh, but I guess I will be an old fogey by then (but still a fan).
Debbie, you’ve been talking about me. I watched the clip and I’m jealous. This is the kind of classy production for which my raw acting talents are suited. I’m just green with jealousy to not be a part of this wit and humor.
Rjlight, you are a big part of his wit & humor. The Danger Couch crew would be lucky to have you make a guest appearance in their next film. (You may want to brush your hair and teeth though…bloggers tend to forget that sort of thing.)
Oh, brush my hair and teeth? I didn’t know I would be required to do so much. I donna know. Maybe it won’t work out…