Powerful New Weight Loss System
By Brent Diggs on Mar 12, 2007 in Humor
New from Toboggans Laboratories comes fast acting Adhesi-Core DT - the most powerful weight loss system in the known world.
Adhesi-Core DT adds patented fat blockers and protein prevention to its already proven carb inhibitors for rapid weight loss without counting calories or unpleasant exercise.
Begin your weight loss today with Dr. Toboggan’s painfully easy three step system:
- Measure out a generous quantity of Adhesi-Core DT calorie blocking strip from the handy Dispensing Roll™ and carefully tear it off.
- Apply the strip just below the nose, and slightly above the chin.
- Serve up all the same foods you normally would, and watch the pounds melt away.
Approved by the American Society of Easily Corrupted Experts, Adhesi-Core DT is proven to block dangerous trans fats, cholesterol, and even sodium for a leaner physique and a healthier you.
Janet C. of Columbia, Utah lost 177 pounds using Adhesi-Core DT and continues to use it today to keep those pounds far away. Listen to her rousing testimonial:
“hmmmm mmm mmmbm hmm bmbmb mmmm mm hmm bhmm mmkmm mm mmmm mkmmm bmmm mmhm mmm mmm gmmm mmm mhmm mmmfm mmmm hm mmm wmmm mmbmmm hmm bmbmb mmmm mm hmm bhmm mmkmm!!”
That’s right Janet, Adhesi-Core DT is the best weight loss system in the world, simply because it works.
Call today to receive Adhesi-Core DT for sixty low daily payments of $19.75. Act now and receive this new S-1000 Adhesi-Core removal tool absolutely free.
Don’t wait, operators are standing by, eager to put you on the path to sexy slimness and eternal youth.* Call now.
Known side effect include: adhesive build up, asphyxiation, and difficulty applying lipstick. Consult your checkbook to see if Adhesi-Core DT is right for you.
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*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA, however several MBAs thought it sounded great.
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This offer just sounded too good to be true. I wanted to immediatley order, but my husband said our checkbook was opposed. Do you have any scholarships?
We do feature special “community service” prices, but I think if you point out the chatter, nag, and “told-you-so” reducing benefits of Adhesi-Core DT, you will find that your husband is more generous than you realize.
Hey, I can finally make a comment! I know you didn’t let me before because you were worried I would be funnier than you! :)
I wondered if it came in other colors–grey is a bit dull. You might want to mention the added bonus of removing unwanted mustache hair at the same time!
My therapist, Dr. Toboggans has encouraged me to open my portals to all comments and face the world on a level footing. He says it is for my own good, but I know he secretly enjoys my pain.
Actually it’s not really a secret, he told me so the other day.
Over the intercom.
As for the colors, he is working on several shades of red and pink to coordinate with various colors of lipstick and nail polish.
I thought it was rather sexist of him to assume that only women would use Adhesi-Core, but he said that any man who needed to use it deserved to wear pink.
He’s kind of old-fashioned that way.
I would like a light tan color please. It would match my hair better. I don’t believe that anyone believes that they are funnier than you think that you are. You are a humor constellation!
It seems like a good idea, However I found that was able to “gnaw” through the tape in short order. This may be related to the anomalous angle of my front teeth.
I am also concerned that the silver color of the product makes me look fat.
I asked my wife her opinion, to which she replied:
“It’s too late, I’ve seen you naked…..”
John O.
Please inform your wife that Dr. Toboggans is available for therapy, he has had good success with these kinds of cases.
If that doesn’t work she could always stick a little Adhesi-Core over her eyes if you should disrobe again in her presence.
My wife says it works great.