Entertainment This Weekend:
The not quite definitive guide to all that is scientifically entertaining for the bored and socially immobile.
There is a lot going on this weekend and even if you are broke or in a body cast, you don’t have to miss out. Just by reading this post you have proved that you have what it takes to enjoy this weekend’s attractions, namely: a computer, an internet connection and a well used Hooked on Phonics kit.
We begin our tour with a little visual logic humor. If you can remember back through the nostalgic mists of ancient math classes, you may recall adding Venn diagrams to the list of “Things I Will Never Use in the Real World.” I know I did, but the ever-amazing Jessica Hagy proves beyond the shadow of a doubt just how wrong we all were. At her site Indexed she reclaims unsuspecting graphs and diagrams the from certain obscurity and turns those boring boardroom paraphernalia on their heads in amusing and flat-out funny ways.
Then for the suburban sportsman, the Harvard team presents the manly and womanly art of squirrel fishing. If you thought that fishing required a boat, or even a license, come get a lesson in rodent retrieval from these mighty masters of the esoteric art. Watch in wide-eyed wonder as the furry fish are hoisted far into the air, held to the bait by molecular bonds of greed.1
Finally, for the more engineering minded we turn our browsers to the scientifical experts at My Science Project, who bravely attempt to bring the time honored figure of speech to reality on their page Nailing Jell-O to a Wall. Their unfunded, yet groundbreaking research raises many questions, such as: Can it be done? Does Bill Cosby know about this? And what new cliché will speech writers use if this is proven possible?
The implications of this experiment are staggering, or at least jiggling with translucent semi-solidity. If Jell-o can indeed be nailed to a wall, is it still safe to serve to school children? Could it be considered inhumane to serve it to convicts or detainees? How does Al Sharpton feel about this?
Not everyone is pleased with this sudden advancement of science.
Some members of the Society for the Preservation of Gelatin Enigma are up in arms over this research, claiming that, “There are some things that humanity was never meant to know.” Science however, has never claimed to be pretty2, and if you can’t handle a little raging controversy now and then, you should probably stick to politics.
Well, that about wraps it up for this edition of Entertainment This Weekend. Just think of all the exciting and frankly baffling contributions you will now be able to make to water-cooler discussions next week as a result of our thorough research into the most esoteric fields of study.
Just another service of the Ominous Comma.
- No animals were hurt during the course of this experiment, but it’s quite possible that a couple of students might have been bitten and had to get shots, or even amputations due to their fishing activities. One of them may even now be reading this dispatch, cursing those savage squirrels from the confinement of his traction bed. There is of course, no mention of any of this on the Harvard site, but it’s not the sort of thing you would advertise, now is it? «
- While science itself can be cold and sometimes ugly, many scientists pride themselves on their own personal appearance. Check out the dashing members of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists over at AIR. «
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Holy cow, they put allot of effort into the jello nailing. That’s pretty amazing.
The squirrel fishing sounds fun too. If only to freak them out. I have a few in my yard that are always digging into the flower beds. Too bad city ordinances make it highly unlikely that I will dispose of them in a manner more appropriate, or atleast humorous. Like with an AK… or a shot gun, at roughly 5 yards typically.
Jessica’s simplistic scribble conjures up some pretty complex ideologies. My daily index card would be a complicated and confusing labyrinth of crap, with no chance of anyone understanding what the hell I’m talking about…kind of like right now. Stop scratching your head Brent!
I think we should sick Ruckford MacMullit’s carnivorous squirrel family on those Harvard squirrel fishing boys…Document that big bite out of your ass boys…
Nailing jell-o to the wall is the most ridiculous sh%t I’ve ever seen in my entire 34 years of breathing. I freaking hate jell-o, it is the nastiest mass of sugary sh%t that never stays on your d#mn spoon. No wonder they want to nail that sh%t to the wall.
You seem to have some Jello angst, perhaps you need some counseling?
Amazing, Ernest Hemingway never once wrote about the fine art of Squirrel Fishing…and he had the nerve to consider himself a sportsman.
“Daddy, I want a squirrel!”
Debbie,
I can see that this has upset you greatly. Please schedule an emergency visit to the good Dr. T. I will be happy to move one of my 45 appointments this week to help you out. You seem a bit out of sorts.
Brent,
Tell the stinkin’ server that any disconnection that we have with the ominouscomma is damaging to our psyche!
Hey,
Eddie here - I think I scared ol Farnsworth off with my trained attack Possum. Pretty scary stuff.
Anyhow, I was noting that you guys don’t devote a whole lot of time to Walmart beer here. Might I recommend its full bokay and nice Malty flavor?
Now if you will - THATS weekend entertainment - that and watching Farnsworth running around in his front yard screaming silly whilst being chased by the attack Possum.
Sarah - you still out there?
Sorry, I do have a jell-o phobia. For real. Now the Society for the Preservation of Gelatin Enigma will be in my nightmares.
I must say the server crashed right after I left my comment and I had a serious guilty conscience. I promise to never type another expletive. My apologies. My next session with Dr. T is to work on my potty mouth.
Thank You Debbie, anything you can do to avoid bringing the Wrath of God down upon my server will be appreciated.
Sarah,
I was surprised to find that you are apparently a real person, so let me be the first to welcome you to the Comma. i don’t know how you get involved with Farnham and Farnsworth, but you are safe here.
Eddy,
Nice trick. The old lighter fluid for beer routine, I haven’t seen that for a while. I hope you didn’t violate your probation.
Thank You Brent,
Farnum and Farnsworth; Eddy Larry Farnum, E.L. Farnsworth are both ELF’s if you reduce them to their minimum.
I feel safe enough from the attack possum. Will try to keep the boys from using any language that will bring down your server.
I am “apparently” real to most. Thanks for noticing.
Sarah
ELF,
Please tell Santa that I want one million people to visit the ominouscomma for Christmas!